a.k.a. Good Food

Today’s blog has nothing to do with writing, unless I can work the insanity into my story somehow.

Every so often, an article on the ‘Net or in the paper (yes I still read a hard copy newspaper) just pushes my button and I have to vent. It’s usually about the lack of a dog park, or some other anti-pet ordinance, in our otherwise civilized town, but this time it’s something a little more delicate: bathroom facilities on airplanes. RYANAIR, a no-frills Irish line, is planning to charge passengers to use on-board toilets. If you’re old enough, you probably remember when places like Grand Central had both “free” and “pay” toilets. If you were smart, you coughed up the 25 cents for the ones they cleaned, nominally, a couple of times a day.

RYANAIR is planning to make its toilets coin-operated, forcing passengers to fork out a pound ($1.65) or a Euro ($1.44) every time they want to “spend a penny” in the sky. Their logic: they can remove one or two toilets from each plane and add additional seats, lowering the fare by 5%.

Did I mention that the ratio of toilets to passengers will be 1:200? I’ve got enough Irish blood in me to know that if I were a stewardess on Ryanair, I would never accept a “courtesy” bag or other container from a passenger in the future.

I’m proposing we all band together to form a new organization – STOPT – The Society to Outlaw Pay Toilets. Are you with me? If not, I’ll see you on Amtrak where you can still get breakfast, lunch, dinner or a snack at a reasonable price, carryon your laptop for free, and use the bathroom!.

One of the most exciting, and most pleasant, parts of writing is celebrating the success of fellow scribes. Lamentably, I’ve yet to break into the big time (or small time), but I have friends who now appear on the shelves of Barnes & Noble, Borders, Amazon, and our local libraries. Knowing just how much work went into that accomplishment makes it all the more worthy of celebration.

Yesterday I opened an email from a writer – Peter Hoffman – I met a couple of years ago at the NYC Pitch & Shop. Like me, Peter had a completed manuscript but was having no luck finding an agent. After working with an independent editor, it appears he decided to self-publish, and his book Carnal Weapon is now out. A pathologist by trade, Peter has taken his protagonist is a totally different direction — something many of us think about doing with our own lives after stuffing one more rejection into the box we’ve set aside for that purpose.

I have to admit that I’ve considered the self-publishing route myself, but have been advised that it is the KOD (kiss of death) if you ever want to be taken seriously by the “legitimate” press. Others say “go for it” and do whatever you can to get your manuscript out there.  I admire Peter’s confidence in his writing to go it alone — not sure I’d have the guts to do it myself.   Self-publishing is one of those very personal decisions most writers face — like whether to write in first person or third — which means considering the pros and cons.

Let’s look at the pros:

1. You have total control:. Every decision – right or wrong – is yours, from the look and feel of the book, how it is marketed, whether to reprint or sell to foreign markets or a movie studio…. We should be so lucky!
   
2. Marketing: If you’re blessed to have a niche market, then why not. If you write about low carb, high fiber diets for international travelers, you may find such a market. Or, if you wrote a family or town history, you can probably sell out a very small print run. Go for it.
   
3. Time: If you self-publish, you can get your book out much more quickly. (See below for the down side of time).
   
4. Self-Esteem: If you want to see your name on a book jacket, and you’re already spend years a manuscript out to innumerable agents/publishers, getting rejection after rejection, well then it might just make you feel good. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling good.
   
5. Money: When a book is sold traditionally, you can expect to receive about 10% of the selling price; if you self-publish, you can get 40-60% of the selling price. That’s the up side financially, but keep reading — remember someone has to actually pay for that print run.
   

Now on to the con side. If you decided to self publish, you’re on your own. LIterally.

1. You have total responsibility: A traditional publishing house already has a staff of editors, layout people, printers, packagers, sales people, distributors, lawyers, accountants, publicists, artists, and a whole slew of others. If you self publish, you have two options: do it yourself or hire someone who can. That can add up to a tidy sum unless you have some very talented friends and/or in-laws.
2. Marketing: Have you looked at all the books vying for shelf space in book stores? And the price of a paperback these days? Readers are going to think twice before plunking down $8.95 for an author they’re never heard of before. How are you going to convince a reader to buy your book instead of another book just like it?
3. Time: You’ve finished writing your book, and that’s a good thing, because now you have to oversee everything else from production, to distribution, to publicity. Oh, and potentially returns, but we won’ dwell on that. The first book tour is going to be a blast, the thirty-seventh, probably less amusing.

4. Self-Esteem: Let’s be honest, there is a prejudice against self-publishing. A chauvinism held not only by agents and publishers, but by many readers, and even some other writers. It your book looks professional and sells well, you will be able to overcome this bump in the road, but it’s something to keep in mind.

5. Money: Remember that bigger share of the pot you’re getting because you’re cutting out the middleman? Well, you have to spend money before you get anything. And there is no guarantee that you will ever get a return on your investment. All the risks are yours.

Now that I’ve thoroughly depressed you, let me list just a couple of authors who began their careers by self publishing: Charles Dickens, William Blake, Virginia Woolf, Walt Whitman, William Morris, and James Joyce.and Margaret Atwood, Stephen Crane, E. E. Cummings, Deepak Chopra, Benjamin Franklin, Zane Grey, Rudyard Kipling, D. H. Lawrence, Thomas Paine, Edgar Allan Poe, Ezra Pound, Carl Sandburg, George Bernard Shaw, Upton Sinclair, Gertrude Stein, Henry David Thoreau, and Mark Twain. And, of course, my friend, Peter Hoffman.

So, for the moment, I’m not even considering self publishing. I’m just stocking up on chocolate (the universal cure all), a larger rejection box, and a friends who will help me weather the storm.

BTW, If you’re interested, the Kirkus Review of Carnal Weapon is below:

A femme fatale lures a naïve lawyer into a stock swindle in this jaunty Eisenhower-era caper.

As a hotshot young Wall Street mergers-and-acquisitions lawyer with a lovely fiancée, Jack Preston is living the American Dream circa 1954. Alas, something is missing from his life—namely sex. The 27-year-old is still a virgin, and he can’t muster much heat for his frigid bride-to-be, who makes it clear he’ll get no more than a kiss on the cheek until their wedding day, which is a year away. Enter bombshell Alice Mercer, who wears tight sweaters and clingy skirts, has a passion for boxing and baseball, and tears Jack’sclothes off whenever they’re alone. Jack never thinks to question her sexual ferocity, even when she ties him up, subjects him to exquisite erotic torments and forces him to blurt out the confidential details of the corporate mergers he’s working on as the price of relief. It’s only after federal investigators probing stock manipulations surrounding said mergers charge him with insider trading that Jack realizes he’s been bamboozled by a woman whose murky past connects her to industrial espionage, Vietnamese communists and the brothels of Hanoi. Hoffman’s fizzy plot, which culminates in a crackerjack courtroom duel, makes no more sense than is strictly necessary, but the novel works as a canny, exuberant homage to the ’50s. The characters are energized by a new economy of easy affluence, electronics and advertising (financier Joseph P. Kennedy plays an odd but appropriate presiding role), and they navigate a cultural sea change as propriety and sexual repression give way to a tantalizing new ethos of sexual fulfillment. Hoffman’s overripe sex scenes—“place mylips where it pleases you most, and I will worship you there”—make one long for a bit more sexual repression, but otherwise the well-tuned prose makes Jack’s wising-up an enjoyable romp.

A funny, energetic tale about the war between primness and hedonism.

Tags: NYC Pitch & Shop, self-publishing

After four days of torrential rains and gale force winds, I caved this morning when I glimpsed the first rays of sun peeking out at me. By noon, it was warm — I mean warm enough not to need boots, mittens, and a snow jacket — and I succumbed to my baser desires. I was weak, I admit it, and I gave into my craving to start growing something. Anything. As a result I now have starter beds of vegetables all over the living room: on the coffee table, on the sideboard, on the mantlepiece. I have flats of nasturtiums, eggplants, radicchio, five varieties of heirloom tomatoes, and four types of basil. And I feel sooo good.

Why is it that the thought of new life, the sight of the first inch of daffodil greens makes us so happy? I know I’m a little warped (more than a little according to my brothers), but next to the sight of a puppy, there is little that makes me “ooh” louder than the first green shoots in a garden. Is there a twelve-step group for springaholics?  A medicated patch for addicted seeders? Please point me in the right direction. I very nearly embarrassed myself by doing a happy dance after spotting a snowdrop in the Wilton Library’s garden this morning.

This happens to me every year. I can make it through Lent without eating the candy/wine/whatever I gave up, but I can’t resist starting the seeds — usually way too early. Outdoor planting in Connecticut doesn’t (or shouldn’t) start until a couple of weeks after Mother’s Day, and by that time, my seedlings have grown to plants. They’ve been repotted at least twice and the tomato plants are 15″ high. I have no will power when it comes to seeds.

I could blame it on the seed companies who bombard me with tempting catalogs, listing more varieties and more tantalizing pictures  every year, but that wouldn’t be fair. They’re just doing their job. No, it’s me. I’m a seed junkie. The good news is that I always have way too many seedlings, so I’m happy to give them away to anyone less compulsive than myself. And oh, by the way, does anyone know the estimated last frost date for Southwestern Connecticut? I still have squash, peas, beans, carrots, and lettuce to get out. And the compost needs to be started.  And……

Tags: Gardening, Wilton, Wilton Library

Having received a netbook for Christmas, I’m still discovering all the new features, gadgets, widgets, etc. which are now available – including the ability to post a new blog entry directly for MS Word 2007. Ain’t technology great?

I am now switching back and forth between a running Windows 7 and Office 2007, a laptop with XP and Office 2003, and this netbook with XP and Office 2007. And what have I discovered? I’m too old to retrain. The “new, improved” look and feel of Microsoft’s products is driving me to , well if not drink, at least chocolate (throw enough chocolate at it and you can solve any problem). The new menus are like a treasure hunt – something I was never good at. Want to convert a table to text? Good luck! I spend more time in the Help section just trying to accomplish something I’ve been doing in Office 2003 for years. Remember the good old days, when they offered you the option of reverting to the “old” menus?

It’s not that I’m against change; in fact, I’m all for it. I just need a little help along the way. And with that thought in mind – please send chocolate.

Everyone likes or dislikes certain foods.   Have you ever wondered why?  In  my case I cannot swallow anything gelatinous, be it Jell-O, aspic or jellied consommé.  If there’s a thin layer of aspic on my pate, I scrape it off.  Why?  I’ve decided it hails back to a traumatic (at least to a 6 year old) experience.

I was lucky enough to grow up in Europe, my father having a job which took us from country to country.  Our first international outing, which lasted four years, was in Belgium, more specifically the Flemish part of Belgium.

My parents firmly believed that if you were living in a foreign country, you should live the way the local people did, go to their schools, dress in their manner.  But that’s fodder for a different blog.

One of the great pleasures of living, or visiting, abroad is learning new cultures.  Belgium is a country divided by language (French and Flemish) and culture (Walloon and Flemish/Dutch).  Each has its own heroes, customs, foods, and celebrations.

In the north of Flanders (the Flemish section), one of the hallmarks of the carnival season is an event called “goose riding” (ganzenrijden).

“Ganzenrijden” is a yearly contest in which horse riders, generally riding bareback on large Belgian draft horses, take turns and try to pull the head of a (dead) greased goose that’s strung up on a gallows. The lucky rider who is able to dislodge the head (usually after several hours of riding and tugging) gets the goose, also a money prize that accumulates over the day (which he can use to buy beer for the whole town), and is crowned King of the Festival and keeps that title until the next year.

The entire day entails a great deal of eating and drinking.  This is where my jelly phobia comes in.
Belgium is not the warmest climate, particularly during March, so my Father found a small restaurant where we could sit inside and watch the proceedings from the front window while drinking hot chocolate and munching on croissants and Speculoos cookies

Come lunchtime, my Father, unable to read the menu, (Did I mention we didn’t speak a word of Flemish and they not a word of English?)  requested the “specialiteit” of the day, which the owner proudly declared to be something that sounded like “Poochendeck.”   Thinking the nice man was trying to say “poached eggs” we ordered five servings.  I still don’t know how to spell the dish – can’t imagine why anyone would want to — but it turned out to be a terrine consisting primarily stray pieces of overcooked vegetables and meatless bones suspended in some sort of semi-transparent gelatin.  Now a strict rule in our family has always been  that you can’t say you don’t like something until you taste it.  I tasted it, I hated it, I never touched gelatin again.  In all honesty, even my parents were hard put to find anything complimentary to say about the dish.  But the ganzenrijders were spectacular, the beer delicious, the bread and freshly churned butter scrumptious, and the patisseries for dessert  – well, they were downright sinful.  So rather than try to duplicate a recipe for the meal that has tainted my culinary vistas all these years, I’ll share my recipe for Speculoos.

So tell me, what food don’t you like?  And why?

Speculoos

Traditionally these are rolled out on fancy wooden cookie moulds, but plain ones taste just as good.

Note: Prepare the dough a day before baking.

1 cup dark brown sugar
3 tablespoons milk
3 cups sifted flour
1½ teaspoons ground cloves
1½ teaspoons ground cinnamon
¾ teaspoon ground ginger
¾ teaspoon ground nutmeg
pinch of baking powder
pinch of salt
1¼ cups butter
¼ cup slivered blanched almonds

In a small bowl combine the brown sugar and milk, and stir until smooth.
In a large bowl, sift the flour with the cloves, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, baking powder, and salt.
With a pastry blender (or two knives), cut the butter into the flour mixture until it is like cornmeal.
Add the brown sugar mixture and the almonds and mix well.
Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for one hour.

Shape the chilled dough into two rolls, wrap again in foil or cling film and refrigerate overnight. The next day, using a lightly floured surface, cut each roll into ¼” slices and bake on a baking sheet at 350°F for 15 minutes.  Allow to cool for at least 30 minutes before eating.  They should be very crisp.

Tags: cooking, food

I just realized it’s International Pancake Day.  As if I needed an excuse to make pancakes.  That said, in honour of the “international” aspect of the day, I’m sharing my favourite German Pancake recipe.  It’s quick.  It’s easy.  And it’s deeelicious.

This feeds 2 if you’re willing to share.

• 2  Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, thinly sliced
• 1/2 cup  granulated sugar
• 2 tsp  cinnamon
• 1 cup milk
• 4 large eggs
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• pinch salt
• 1/4 cup    unsalted butter ( 1/2 stick)
• 1/2 cup packed brown sugar

Heat oven to 425 degrees. Lightly oil a 10-inch cast-iron skillet. Toss apples with both sugars and cinnamon in a large bowl.

Mix milk and eggs in a blender or food processor; add flour and salt and mix to combine.

Melt butter in prepared skillet over medium heat. Add apple mixture; cook, stirring often, until sugar melts, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and pour batter over.

Bake until pancake is puffed and golden, 20 to 30 minutes. Serve at once.

Tags: cooking, food, recipe

I know Sunday is Valentine’s Day, but it also marks the start of a new Chinese Year — the Year of the Tiger.  Seems fitting that I should want to do well this year, doesn’t it?

I’m actually an Ox, at least according to Chinese lore.  Does birth date really influence who you are and what you do?

The Chinese believe those born in the year of the Ox are:

• alert
• strong leaders
• demanding
• stubborn
• methodical
• dislike failure, and
• make good parents.

Hum…I’ll admit to stubborn, methodical, and disliking failure, but that’s as far as I go.

Just for kicks, I looked up several writers to see where they fell in the Chinese system.  Agatha Christie was a Tiger; Edgar Allan Poe, a Snake; Charlotte Bronte, Truman Capote and Shakespeare were all Rats; Pearl Buck, a Dragon; and both Mark Twain and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle were Sheep.  Keigo Higashino is a Dog; James Patterson, a Boar; Robert Parker was, and PD James is, a Monkey; and Ruth Rendell, a Horse.  Apparently, almost any year was/is a good year for writers.  Good news for us.

What about months?  From all I’ve read, the best Zodiac signs for writers are Gemini and Virgo.  Fortunately for me, I’m a Virgo.  And I’m in good company.  Other Virgo writers include Agatha Christie, James Fenimore Cooper, William Golding, Samuel Johnson, D.H. Lawrence, J.L. Mencken, O. Henry and Leo Tolstoy.

So, as you sit eating your way through a heart-shape box of chocolates, think about this:  Were you destined to be a writer by birth or are you simply lucky to be good at what you love – writing.

Tags: Authors, writer

I’m an unabashed bibliophile and politicians are making me mad.  February is Library Lover’s Months, but in my town, it’s also budget time, and all we’re hearing about is the bad economy.  Phrases like “toughest budget in decades,” “belt tightening,” “spending cuts,” and “sacrifice” sprinkle the weekly editorials.  The Selectmen want to cut everyone’s budget.  And that includes the local library.

I’ve blogged before on the subject of my local library. The Wilton Library is incredibly supportive of both un-pub’ed and newly pub’ed writers.  For the “un’s”, the Library regularly sponsors seminars and workshops — in fact, this week starts a five-part series on short stories (see WLA website for details).  For “new pubs” it schedules a “meet & greet” during which the authors can discuss their books and their approach to writing.  Books are, of course, available for signing.

I’ve benefited from these programs for years, and now, it seems only fair to pay back the favour.  Think of everything your local library provides.  My local library’s collection totals more than 144,000 items including:

• over 3800 adult audio books, over 200 teen audio books, and over 500 children’s audio books
• over 5800 CDs of classical, jazz, and popular music
• over 7400 films for adults, teens, and children
• over 200 periodical subscriptions
• over 2500 books in large print
• fiction, nonfiction, picture books, and reference materials for adults and children

And that’s not counting access to computer, printers, and on-line databases; meeting rooms; concerts; ESL and computer classes, typewriters (for the technically challenged?), a fax machine, and photocopiers; a CD player and a turntable, each with headphones, for onsite use; an Optelec reader for vision-impaired patrons; not to mention flu clinics and blood drives..  Where else can you get this for free?

So how do I/we pay back?

Money is obviously one answer: Wilton Library donations fund 100% of the collection (including books, online databases, magazines and newspapers, CDs, DVDs, and audio books), while an annual grant from the Town of Wilton covers about three-quarters of the operating expenses.  And keep in mind that most, if not all, of the donation is tax deductible.

But let’s be a little more creative.

You can donate used books for the annual book sales.  I know I have literally boxes of books I’ve read, enjoyed, and will never read again.  Instead of selling them on-line at a tag sale, donate them to the Library’s sale. Last year Wilton’s sales raised more than $70,000.

Volunteer — this is not a dirty word.  And there is something for everyone.  Volunteer as cashiers, sorters, pricers, and movers for the sales.  Help process audio-visual material and books, update Wilton, prepare crafts, and help with filing.  Last year, one woman even built a beautiful bookcase.  Offer your special talents:  volunteer to give a lecture, moderate a book group, read to preschoolers; start a writers’ group for teens or senior citizens (memoirs are a favourite for this group).  Get elected to the Library Board.  For all you published authors, donate a copy (or 2) of your book.  For those of us still waiting to be discovered, buy a copy of a friend’s book — you’ll be helping  both the author and the library.    Encourage your kids to hold bake sale and car washes to raise money.

But most of all USE your local library.  Last year, the library served 261,087 patrons and had 662,181 website visits. Incidentally, Wilton has a total population of 17,698, so that works out to about 120 visits/hits per resident.  It’s hard for town government to cut funding to a group that serves such a large, diverse proportion of the town’s population.

Tags: books, Wilton Library

Today is Working Naked Day. No it’s not what you think. Today is dedicated to those of us who are working from home “naked”— stripped of the resources that millions take for granted in the traditional corporate workplace. Things like a never-empty coffee pot, a cafeteria and, most important, social interaction with colleagues.

That’s probably what I missed most when I decided to go solo as a consultant and work out of my house. Not that there aren’t perks to offset what you’ve lost: the ten step commute to my office down the hall, going to work in my jammies if I feel like it (though I never do), getting the laundry done during “coffee breaks.” And, of course, the luxury being able to work on my murder mystery when nothing of a more lucrative nature is in the queue.

So, for all of you who work naked, have a happy day. And check out the website dedicated to our fellow/sisterhood: http://www.workingnaked.net. They have some pretty good ideas for improving your website, if you’re at a loss for something to do during your solitary lunch break.

The situation in Haiti is still desperate — not only for the people but also the animals.  Now anyone who knows me, knows what an animal lover I am, so I’m taking a page from Linda Simoni-Wastila and challenging all my friends, and their friends, to help out.  For every comment left on this thread  (Facebook or Blog) between now and Midnight EST Friday, January 29^th, I’ll donate a buck.
Where’s the cash going? Best Friends Animal Society, one of the largest and best run sanctuaries in the US.  Their help during Hurricane Katrina, both in saving animals and in reuniting pets and owners is truly amazing.  They done this before – in Peru, in China, and other countries — and they know how to get it again.  All they need it a little help from us.  Already positioned to start as soon as the UN and military in Haiti allow them in, this fabulous group of committed health care workers is ready to provide health and medical care in the most desolate of places and tragic of circumstances.

So drop me a line…a comment…a word… won’t cost you a cent, and we’ll help the animals, too.

Photo of stray dog in the aftermath of the Peru earthquake by Best Friends photographer Molly Wald

100 percent of your donation will go directly to help animals suffering in the aftermath of the earthquake. Best Friends is a part of the Animal Relief Coalition for Haiti (ARCH), and your support will provide food, water, rabies vaccinations, safety and more for countless animals.

Just imagine if your pet was in this situation.

Peace,
Tiger